At 68...

 

At 68…

Realizing what I would have liked to know, really know, down into by bones, when I married the women of my life and what it would have meant for our three children…

I would have liked to know, really know, that her criticism was not a condemnation of my inaptitude to be a man, but a guidance to understand her and myself,

I would have liked to know, really know, that her doubts were not the end of all life but a step toward improvement,

I would have liked to know, really know, that her questions were not a call for a solution but an attempt to start a conversation,

I would have liked to know, really know, that her happiness was a guide to know her, not a present to me,

I would have liked to know, really know, the depth of unfairness women go through daily,

I would have liked to know, really know, that I was not expected to be the master nor the servant, nor the knight,

I would have liked to know, really know, that pretending to know was poison and that the admission of error or lack of knowledge was essential to a healthy relationship.

 

If I would have known this, I would have avoided…

For her, Anger, fights, fear, and despair

For myself, Anger, fights, fear, despair

For our children, fear, self-culpability and anger

 

And we would have more time to…

For us parents to…

To love them,

To Play with them,

 

For our children…

To grow stronger, to be more confident, more fulfilled.